You Are not my Mother

I’ve heard women say they can learn a lot about a dude by how he treats his mother. This somehow sheds some light on how he would treat a lady friend in the context of a relationship. Ya boy disagrees. There are so many variables that go into how one treats his mother that it’s almost impossible to get a real idea of how he’s going to treat a woman based on his actions toward the one that birthed him. But for the sake of discussion, let’s use my interaction with momma dukes as an example.


I treat mom as best as I can. When she calls, I answer no matter where I am even though I live in a different city. When I make trips home, I do whatever I can in the 2 days that I’m there because I know she doesn’t have a whip (pronounced car). I make her laugh, and I try my best to make her life easier. After more than 25 years of providing for me and ensuring I always had what I needed, she deserves the reciprocity. Women who see how I treat moms shouldn’t get it twisted. There is a pretty good chance they won’t even get close to the same treatment unless they’ve passed all tests and earned the “put a ring on it” award. At that point, the lucky lady has proven herself worthy of receiving the treatment similar to, but not greater than, that which I show my mother.

To put it another way, because a man treats his mom well doesn’t mean he will treat you well. He’s developed a relationship with his mom over the years and she’s done a lot for him. He loves his momma for all of this. He doesn’t necessarily love you. If you want that treatment from a dude, it needs to be earned over time. On the flip side, just because a dude doesn’t treat his moms well doesn’t mean he’ll treat you like toilet rubbish. Who knows why the dynamics with his moms are somewhat unpleasant. Maybe he came home early from school as a child and saw mom with the mailman while pops was at the construction site earning that check. He was out there layin brick while someone was layin pipe. That could make a young fella bitter for life.

But regardless ladies, since I’m primarily talking to you, don’t put too much into figuring out how a dude treats his mother. This is assuming you even get the chance to meet his mom. Do what you need to do and you’ll get the treatment you deserve. And yes, it really is that simple.