Men, if you think that you’re a player. You might not be. There’s a chance that you’re girlfriend might be playing you. Old norms for sexual relationships no longer apply for the modern day woman.
A good example would be matrimonial values.
For example, throughout history, there have always been abstract forms of worth applied to women getting married and of a bride-to-be.
Men have traditionally been excused for having mistresses or “something on the side” from their wives. If Benjamin Franklin and Tony Soprano have taught us anything, it’s that powerful men in history keep their wives for family and appearances, while the mistress gets quietly taken care of, sometimes completely known by the wives. The sanctity of marriage was based on the chastity of the woman and the view from the outside. Wives weren’t sexual beings; there were other, less valuable women for that. The quintessential Madonna whore.
How many partners a woman has had, the family she came from, the job held by her father — all these factors played into and determined the worth of a potential wife. In terms of marriage, chastity and homemaking abilities were worth locking down, while promiscuity and the lack of feminine motherly instinct kept a female at the bottom of the barrel when it came to husband hunting.
But today, the modern woman may laugh at these standards. Being a good wife has nothing to do with chastity and homemaking. Who needs to spend all day cooking dinner when we have automatic ovens and microwaves and frozen lasagnas? The talent of dishwashing has become obsolete when that stainless steel dishwasher gets installed. And with nannies, daycares and pre-preschool learning classes for toddlers, moms are just as free to be clueless about parenting as their husbands.
It’s not just traditional motherhood that can be shelved in the modern relationship. Wives have become as sexually free to have boy toys as their men to have mistresses. It is even more acceptable for a woman to admit her extra marital affairs without facing the harsh Victorian-age judgments.
In a recent article published by The New York Times titled “Love, Sex and the Changing Landscape of Infidelity,” more women — at a younger age — are not only cheating on their husbands, but for the first time in history, they’re willingly admitting to it.
It seems that throughout time, men have wanted to believe that their women (or any woman for that matter) don’t cheat, and women don’t want their men to know they cheat. Women must be faithful, pure and loyal to their men, no matter what. Cheating is something more attributed to the man. Now statistics show that 15 percent of women under 35 cheat, while men in the same age group are only slightly higher at 20 percent. Women are becoming the new men.
This head game between the sexes carries so much history, it’s almost more baggage than the affair itself. Why women hide their affairs while men flaunt them is a clear example of gender roles taking their toll on the family structure. The fact that this is slowly diminishing could be a step in the right direction, even if it encourages cheating in a marriage.
Partners admitting their unfaithful behavior is a step in the right direction. It preaches a more equal partnership in action and words.
So the modern relationship includes cheating but not lying. The lies stem from social norms and setups, which we all know lead only to trouble.
At the same time, gentlemen, if any of this doesn’t apply to you. Then all I have to say is, “Play on, player.”
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