5 Things I've Learned From Disney Movies

1. Lady and The Tramp- Before all the high tech graphics and digitalization of Disney movies there was Lady and the Tramp. This movie was probably like my first exposure to relationships and love. Tramp had no reason to think that Lady would be his lady, but he pulled out all the stops to make her his bitch. It’s the same thing with real women, most females are willing to open up their heart, home, and lives for genuine love. So pull out all the stops, and you don’t have to take a woman to a fancy restaurant to impress her, there are a lot of places you can bring a woman that don’t cost a lot of money at all. If your feelings are true then she’ll be giving you nose kisses in no time.

2)Finding Nemo - Women are like Dory they can f*ck with you and forget you very easily, but if you’re down with them they’ll be down with you. Not only will they be down with you, they’ll go half way around the world with you despite all of your issues and problems. Especially when a good pipe laying is involved. If you hit it from the back right, or throw them up against the wall and get busy it will gain you some extra “I’ll do this with you/for you” points that can build a life long friendship if not nothing else.

3)Pirates of The Caribbean - Capt Jack Sparrow was the ultimate player, he’s a drunken ladies man who slept with numerous wenches. Well you can learn a lot from a dummy, so take this as a warning if you cheat you’re liable to get hurt by a woman. Just as jack found out when 2 wenches smacked him. There is an old saying that there is no woman like a woman scorned, so unless you want to get your door keyed, your clothes burned or the windows bust out your car I will suggest you not cheat.

4)Snow White & The 7 Drawfs - The most extreme case of freakiness that is Disney Movies, a poisoned princess ends up in the woods alone with seven old men. But, that’s not where I’m going with this one. Women are freaky and if you get them drunk enough, or say the right things to them you can have group sex. She may even fall madly in love with you. I’m not one for running trains, but I also don’t see anything wrong with a woman who wants more than one partner. Hell men want threesomes so why can’t women. I blame Snow White for women wanting to have group sex. Hey, ladies let me buy you a drink.

5)Sleepy Beauty - Sleepy Beauty is the most famous Princess in the world of Disney. This fairy tale is like the story of my life. Think about it, a prince has to travel across the country and face a fire breathing dragon in order to apply a kiss on the love of his life, right? We’ll if you’ve ever slept in the bed with a woman then you faced morning breath before, same thing. Now while it’s not like traveling across the country, opening her legs of a woman and taking the panties off a sleeping woman is a very difficult task. Now once you do this you should wake your sleeping beauty with a kiss directly on her private parts. You’ll live happily ever after.